I’ve been writing this blog since 2010, and throughout that time, I’ve always tried to walk the fine line between sharing my life and protecting the privacy of my family. Over the next few days, though, I’m going to share a very personal story with you in the hopes that it might help someone else who is going through a similar experience.
About a year ago, my husband was diagnosed with severe aortic stenosis. He eventually underwent surgery at the Cleveland Clinic, which, luckily for us, is only two hours from where we live in western Pennsylvania. During the months leading up to the surgery, we also had several other family crises and challenges going on, so it was a very stressful time for us.
Some days, I felt overwhelmed by everything I was expected to handle. I was worried about Fred’s upcoming surgery (aortic valve replacement plus aortic aneurysm repair), and the chaos in other areas of my life was almost more than I could bear.
So I escaped.
I turned to the thing that calms and soothes me. My meditation. My own little world where all I need to think about is color and line. The place where I find joy and satisfaction….my sketchbook journal.
Keeping an illustrated journal of what we went through with Fred’s heart problems, from his first diagnosis to our return home after surgery, helped me to process everything that was happening and look forward to the brighter, more promising end of the story.
By focusing on the good – the people who cared for us, the plans for a good outcome, the positive steps along the way – I was able to stay optimistic about what each day would bring and grateful for every small hurdle we overcame and milestone we passed.
I put together a little sketch kit that I could take to the hospital, so I could draw and paint during waiting times. It was important that it be easy to pull out of my bag, set up, and put away quickly. A sketchbook, pencil, pen, a few waterbrushes, and a tiny watercolor palette were easy to fit into a zippered pouch. I also threw a compact set of felt-tip pens into the backpack I carried each day. They came in handy for lettering and borders.
Sketch kit
- Sketchbook - 4.7" x 4.7"
- Everyday Artist Sketchliner
- Small watercolor palette
- Set of 20 Staedtler Triplus Fineliners
- Set of 6 Molotow Aqua Squeeze Brush Pens
- Erasers
- Page clips
- 6" Westcott ruler
- Pigma Micron pens (sizes 01, 005, PN)
- Platinum Carbon Desk Pen
- Pentel GraphGear Mechanical Drafting Pencil
In addition, I took along a larger palette and regular paint brushes for painting at the hotel, where I would have a table to work on.
Fred was well-prepared for the day of surgery. The Cleveland Clinic has an amazing pre-op program that really helped to take the fear and uncertainty out of the weeks leading up to the big day.
He had been feeling worse physically with every passing day, so it was a relief when December 5 finally arrived, and we headed for Cleveland, ready to get a new and improved valve implanted into his failing heart.
But the story began long before that…
That was a real wake-up call! Prior to this appointment, we had no idea of the severity of Fred’s condition. Our world changed in the blink of an eye.
Reeling from that prognosis, we headed back home to begin the process of preparing for his open-heart surgery.
We traveled to Cleveland again a few weeks later for pre-op testing. While Fred underwent a battery of tests, I sat in one waiting room after another, working on my sketches and hoping for the best.
With the testing completed, all that was left to do was wait.
I’ll be posting more sketches and the rest of the story over the next few days. Stay tuned……..
38 Comments
Leslie, I admire you for sharing this very personal experience and am so glad you both have pulled through it so intact. You inspire us.
Sketching throughout this journey has helped me so much, and I’m hoping, by sharing my journal, it might help someone else.
This story is amazing. Thank you for sharing your sketching journal. My heart goes out to you!
God bless!
I’m excited to share the whole story with my readers. And, luckily, it has a happy ending!
Leslie,
Blessings to you, Fred, and your family!!!
Wow! What you 2 have been through!! Tom faces bicuspid valve replacement sometime in the future, but who knows how long, so this was interesting to read. HIS PACEMAKER IS WORKING WELL, so no more slowdowns or stoppages, which is a relief.He starts physical therapy next week for arthritis in the left hip and both knees which affects his ability to play tennis. How is Fred doing now?please keep us posted…love Barb&Tom xoxo
He’s doing very well and making steady progress each day. He’ll start cardiac rehab in a few weeks to increase his strength. I’ll just be glad when he can drive himself again! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this story, Leslie. I love that you have used your art to tell it and no doubt it will encourage many! ❤️
Thanks, Julene. I had a lot of fun with this project, and Fred is loving being the star of story.
Oh Leslie.. I am so thankful Fred is doing so well and you are on the other side of all of this. Thank you for sharing your experience and how you coped through all the worry and waiting. I am so glad. Sending my love and good wishes for this new year.
Always your friend,
Beverlee
He’s doing great. It’s amazing how quickly someone can recover from such an invasive surgery. So far, so good!
Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration for the rest of us. I did the same thing when my husband was hospitalized.
I’d love to see your journal. You’ll have to bring it along the next time you come to a class at my house. I’m thinking of doing some here in 2024.
First of all, I’m sure this has ended well or your posts might be taking a different tack and for this I am most grateful. I send wishes for continuing healing to Fred and to YOUR lovely heart as well.
Thank you for being so open as to share your journal and your story. You’re right — it could make a difference to others and apart from the very useful art elements, it has “legs” beyond that. I will look forward to your next entry.
Thanks for following along, Jeanie.
Thank you for sharing this…..my son is 41 and has the same heart defect. We discovered it when he was 8 years old and eventually he’ll need this surgery, too. So I’m really interested in following your story, thank you again! And it’s good to know that not all doctors are the same, if we have questions, keep looking!
Definitely! You have to be your own advocate.
Thank you for sharing your journal. I am sure it was helpful to get all your worries out on paper. My husband went thru aortic valve replacement in 2023 but was fortunate to have the TAVR procedure. I am so happy you both have been thru the worst and scariest part (since you are sharing this after all that happened) and that Fred is hopefully feeling better by now.
Hugs to you both.
He’s doing very well. I’m grateful there weren’t any complications, and he’s seeing steady improvement.
I’ so glad that Fred is doing well. I feel for you because my husband had heart problems and doctors saved his life more than once. It’s so hard on the person sitting in the waiting room wondering what’s going on in the operating room. Fred has a good doctor so I’m sure he will be fine if you can make him follow the doctor’s orders.
Thank you for sharing your art with us. It’s very beautiful. Sharing your experience with your husband will help others.
Thanks for taking the time to write, Patricia. Stay tuned for the rest of the story…
Oh Leslie, I feel as if I know you, after following your blog for all this time.
I echo everyone else’s sentiments of thanks for sharing this with us. Very, very scary time indeed. I do admire your positive attitude.
My very best wishes for a much less stressful 2024.
Amen to that! 🙂
Thank you for sharing you story of your husband and his heart issues. I know something of what you went through. My husband had tachycardia, where he would get rapid heat beat, and it would last a while and always needed an emergency visit. They were not sure what was causing it, sometimes all he had to do was lift his arm over his head and it got it. He had it when we first started dating and he had several attacks after we were married and had kids. Each time if he got it, and could not relax with breathing to get it back to a normal beat, we would end up in the emergency room where they would literally have to stop his heart and restart it. That ordeal was so emotional and scary for the both of us. His heart doctor told us that having to have this done could eventually damage his heart over time and suggested he have heart ablation surgery. We went to Columbus where they had heart doctors that do these operations daily. When he got there they found out that he had an extra connector going to his heart and it was the cause of the rapid heart beat issues. They were able to find the one causing the issue and get rid of it. Thankfully, Knock on wood, he has not had any rapid heartbeat issues since then. IT has been twenty years almost now. We feel very fortunate that we found a heart doctor that told us about the surgery and had a great doctor in Columbus to do the surgery. I am so glad that things have worked out for your husband too. IT is a very scary thing when it is your heart that is acting up.
Thanks for sharing your story, Ginny. When we were in Cleveland, I had conversations with several people (other wives who were waiting for their husbands) who were there at Cleveland Clinic because they couldn’t find an answer to their husband’s problems in their local area. Within a day of arriving at the CC, the doctors had figured out what had eluded the others for so long, and their husbands were well on their way to recovering. You have to keep searching for the answers you seek. Perseverance is the key.
We are going through the same journey now…very frightening. Yes journaling is such a help. My husbands surgery is Jan 21. Praying all contines to go well for Fred and you.🙏🙏❤️❤️
Hi Lin – I hope your husband has the same good results that Fred has had. When he goes walking every day now, he keeps marveling that his chest doesn’t hurt anymore, and he’s not short of breath. He says it was absolutely worth it. (Plus it saved his life!) Wishing you all the best as you go through this with him
Leslie, what a great way to keep track of all the appts and tests, etc. My husband has been going thru medical issues for the last year. Wish I would have thought about journals to keep track of all the tests results, etc. He is much better now. Glad to hear your husband is also better.
You can always keep it in mind for the next time something pops up.
Thank you Leslie for sharing your story complete with the two Dr opinions! Necessary to complete this successful surgery. Thank you for sharing your prep kit as well as your artwork so we can see the whole story. You are so kind to realize how useful all of this information is for us. Thank you!!!
I felt sure that people in the waiting room would be wondering what the heck I was doing, with all my art stuff spread out around me, but, would you believe, not one person ever engaged me in conversation about it. That surprised me. I guess they were all wrapped up in their own situation. It just goes to show that we shouldn’t worry about feeling conspicuous or embarrassed about pulling out our art supplies in public. Lesson learned.
I’m glad all went well! Prayers for continued recovery. We are lucky to have every single day with friends and family.
I love your art and thank you so much for sharing with us.
You’re welcome, Sharon. It’s my pleasure to share with you all. Sketchbooking is a powerful force for good, and I always hope my little posts have a positive impact in some way.
Leslie,
I’m so thankful that Fred is doing so well following his surgery! God has a plan for him. As you’re taking care of him, remember to take care of you too! Happy New Year and many blessings!
Leslie,
I have a friend whose husband had heart valve replacement on Wednesday. During the procedure there was a malfunction and so the surgery took much longer than expected. He is making progress so I am forwarding your journal pages to her daughter to share as she thinks best. To me your positive approach to everything will be an encouragement to anyone who faces this procedure.
Many blessing to you, Fred, and family!
That must have been scary. I’m glad he’s dong okay now and making progress. I’m glad you shared my journal with them. I hoope it can help in some small way.
It’s good to share this Leslie, it’s good to know that people care and pray for you. My husband had open heart surgery years ago, I remember vividly the anxiety and the helplessness. Relying on someone to save your husbands life! 21st century medicine and top notch at that.! Congratulations! Truly to you, your husband and all who were involved in his operation and care.
Your painting and sketching is your language- and you express it so beautifully. Blessings to you and your family! Jane
PS for some reason I did not get the original email, Diane Washburn forwarded this to me….I’m registering my email address below again
Hi Jane – it’s so good to hear from you! You understand how trying the whole experience is, because you’ve experienced it firsthand. But all we can do is face each day and hope for a brighter future. I’m so grateful for the excellent care he received in Cleveland. That place is incredible!